Healing Means Learning to Sit with Discomfort Emotional avoidance. Do you find yourself automatically moving away from uncomfortable emotions? Perhaps you distract yourself when difficult feelings arise, quickly problem-solve to avoid sitting with uncertainty, or use food, screens, work, or other activities to escape emotional discomfort. Maybe you’ve noticed that despite your best efforts…
You Were Not Loved Less, You Were Loved Conditionally Conditional love. The realization often arrives during an ordinary moment—perhaps while watching siblings receive different treatment, remembering how praise always followed achievement but rarely just your presence, or noticing the subtle but unmistakable ways your authentic expression was discouraged while other qualities received celebration. Something clicks…
External validation – Why You Keep Waiting for Someone to Choose You External validation. Do you find yourself perpetually waiting to be selected, noticed, or deemed worthy by others? Perhaps you hesitate to pursue meaningful goals without external validation, seek continuous confirmation that you matter to important people in your life, or find yourself…
The Emotional Cost of Being Hyper-Independent Emotional Cost. Do you pride yourself on rarely needing help, handling challenges alone, or maintaining complete self-sufficiency regardless of circumstances? Perhaps you find it nearly impossible to ask for support even when struggling, feel uncomfortable when others offer assistance, or experience an almost visceral aversion to appearing vulnerable…
What Happens When You Stop Over-Explaining Yourself Over-explaining. The pattern is subtle but persistent—a simple “no” somehow transforms into a three-minute justification. A boundary comes wrapped in excessive reasoning. A preference arrives cushioned with elaborate context. Even minor decisions receive comprehensive explanations that nobody actually requested. This habit of over-explaining reflects more than just conversational…
Anxiety – You Deserve a Life That Doesn’t Feel Like Survival Anxiety. The sensation is unmistakable—that persistent background tension, the feeling of always being slightly on alert, muscles never quite releasing their vigilance. Days blur together in endless responses to immediate demands. Your breathing stays shallow, never quite reaching your lower abdomen. Planning beyond immediate…
The Loneliness of Always Being ‘The Strong One’ Loneliness. Do you find yourself being the person everyone turns to in a crisis? Perhaps you’re known for your emotional stability, practical advice, and ability to handle whatever life throws your way. Maybe friends, family, and colleagues consistently rely on your strength while rarely asking how…
Conflict avoidance – Why You Avoid Conflict (Even When You’re Right) Conflict avoidance. Do you find yourself agreeing with others even when you actually hold a different view? Perhaps you experience intense anxiety at the mere hint of disagreement, quickly backtracking or apologizing to restore harmony. Maybe you carefully monitor your opinions to avoid…
Authentic selfhood – How to Reconnect with the Real You Authentic selfhood. Do you sometimes catch yourself wondering who you actually are beneath the roles you play? Perhaps you’ve become so adept at being what others need—the reliable colleague, the supportive friend, the perfect partner, the successful professional—that you’ve lost connection with your authentic…
Trauma – How Trauma Shows Up in Everyday Decisions Trauma. Do you find yourself making choices that seem logical in the moment but create patterns that don’t align with your deeper values or desires? Perhaps you consistently avoid certain situations that objectively present minimal risk, automatically say yes to requests despite feeling overwhelmed, or…