Transgenerational trauma – It didn’t start with you
“It didn’t start with you” by Marek Wolynn offers an in-depth exploration of the field of transgenerational trauma, shedding light on how inherited family trauma shapes our lives. The book explains the concept that the experiences of our ancestors, especially their unresolved traumas, can be passed down through the generations, affecting our emotional and psychological well-being in ways that we may not be able to fully understand.
Transgenerational trauma – concept
The thrust of Wolynn’s argument is that trauma is not just an individual experience but a family one. Trauma experienced by one generation can leave an indelible mark on the genetic code, affecting subsequent generations. This phenomenon is supported by epigenetic research, which shows that severe stress and trauma can alter gene expression, a change that can be inherited by offspring.
Wolynn presents numerous case studies and scientific discoveries that illustrate how unresolved traumas from the past manifest themselves in the present. For example, some Holocaust survivors may experience unexplained anxiety or depression, symptoms that are not rooted in their personal experiences, but in the untreated wounds of their ancestors. This understanding broadens the scope of traditional psychotherapy, emphasizing the need to take into account family history when discussing current psychological problems.
Narratives and stories that are passed down through the generations play a key role in shaping our identities and emotional landscapes. Wolynn emphasizes that these stories often carry a weight of unresolved trauma, which can unconsciously affect our behavior and perceptions. By exploring these family stories, individuals can gain insight into their own psychological problems and begin the healing process.
Wolynn’s work emphasizes the importance of bringing hidden family histories to light. This includes the exploration of the unspoken and often sick experience of our ancestors. By recognizing and understanding these past traumas, individuals can break through the circle of inherited trauma, leading the way to personal healing and transformation.
Transgenerational trauma and the role of attachment and bonding
The theory of attachment is key to Wolynn’s research into transgenerational trauma. Early childhood experiences with primary caregivers have a profound impact on our emotional and psychological development. When parents or grandparents have unresolved trauma, their ability to create a secure attachment with their children can be jeopardized. This imbalance in the bonding process can have long-lasting effects, perpetuating the cycle of trauma.
Wolynn provides practical tools and techniques for recognizing and treating attachment trauma. It is important to create new, healthy relationships in the present, which can help individuals overcome past trauma in their families. Through awareness, visualization and therapeutic dialogue, individuals can develop secure attachments and rebuild their sense of security and trust.
Healing through awareness and integration
The key message of the book “It Didn’t Start with You” is the power of awareness and integration in the healing process. Wolynn advocates a holistic approach that combines traditional therapeutic methods with insights from epigenetics and family systems theory. By establishing a conscious connection between the past and the present, individuals can integrate this knowledge into their journey of self-discovery.
This process involves recognizing and acknowledging the trauma of our ancestors, understanding how these traumas have shaped our lives and consciously choosing to break the cycle. Require self-care for yourself and your family, recognize pain and resilience that have been passed down through generations.
Transgenerational trauma and case studies related to it are manifold, let’s look at a few cases the author cites:
Case study 1: The aftermath of war trauma
One of the most convincing case studies Wolynn talks about includes a woman named Sarah who struggled with chronic insomnia and panic attacks. After a stable and supportive environment in a proper living situation, Sarah’s symptoms worsened without any visible cause. Therapeutic research revealed that Sarah’s father was a soldier in the Second World War and that he suffered severe trauma during the war. He never spoke about his experiences, and the emotional pain remained unresolved. Sarah’s tantrum was a manifestation of this unresolved trauma, which was passed down through the family language. By acknowledging her father’s pain and integrating this understanding into her therapy, Sarah began to see improvements in her own mental health.
Case study 2: Impact of losing a parent
The second case study involves a man named John, who suffered from deep feelings of emptiness and lack of faith in his relationships. During the therapy, it was discovered that John’s mother had lost her own mother at an early age, a trauma she had never fully overcome. This unresolved grief affected his ability to bond with John, who then internalized feelings of emptiness. By recognizing and resolving the incurable trauma of his mother, John succeeded in resolving his own issues of trust and depression, which led to healthier relationships.
Case study 3: The hidden grief of immigration
Wolynn also talks about the case of Maria, a woman who suffered from chronic depression. Maria’s family emigrated to the United States from Mexico under stressful and difficult circumstances. Her mother, who suffered great hardships during the move, never processed her grief and loss. She carried this unresolved trauma, affecting Mary’s sense of stability and belonging. By researching the history of her family’s immigration and recognizing the unspoken pain of her father, Maria managed to begin the process of healing her own depression.
Therapeutic work:
For Sarah, whose anxiety was linked to her father’s unspoken trauma from the Second World War, the therapeutic process involved several key steps:
Investigating family history: The therapy began with a thorough investigation of Sarah’s family history to uncover potential sources of trauma. Understanding the father’s experiences provided context for her symptoms.
Storytelling: Sarah and her child therapist worked together to construct a story about her father’s war experiences. This story helped Sarah to understand her tachycardia as a manifestation of unresolved trauma in her family.
Symbolic rituals: Participating in symbolic activities or rituals, such as lighting a candle or creating a memorial for one’s father, allowed Sarah to honor his memory and acknowledge her pain. These rituals helped create a sense of connection and connection, facilitating the healing process.
Techniques of meditation and relaxation: Incorporating the practice of meditation and relaxation helped Sarah manage her anxiety in the present. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation and progressive muscle relaxation were key to reducing her symptoms.
Development of self-acceptance: The therapy is also aimed at increasing self-esteem and understanding. Recognizing that speech anxiety is not just about one’s own fear, but also part of the aftermath of one’s family history, Sarah helped John develop a more supportive view of himself.
Case study 2: Impact of parental loss (John)
Therapeutic work:
For John, who was struggling with feelings of guilt rooted in his mother’s unresolved grief, the therapeutic process included:
Family history mapping: John and his therapist created a genogram to map significant family events and relationships. This visual representation helped identify the background to his problems with unemployment.
Working on anger: Dealing with his mother’s unresolved grief was key. John participated in work with his mother that included expressing and processing the anger and loss that his mother never fully acknowledged. This may have included journaling, talking about his mother, and allowing space for emotional expression.
Working with the inner child: The therapy involved working with the inner child, where John taught himself to trust the part of himself that felt empty. Techniques such as guided imagery and self-hypnosis helped him to maintain calm and confidence with his inner child.
Parental guidance: working on the development of safe educational guidance was key. John practiced creating healthy relationships, starting with his therapist, and then expanding to other important people in his life. Building trust and emotional intimacy were key focuses.
Apology and liberation: John also talked about apologizing to his mother for her emotional unavailability. Understanding her own unresolved trauma enabled him to let go of long-standing resentment and begin to heal.
Case study 3: Hidden immigration grief (Maria)
Therapeutic work:
For Maria, whose depression was linked to the difficult immigration experience of her family, the therapeutic process included:
Cultural and historical research: Maria’s therapy began with research into the history of her family’s immigration. Understanding the distress that her family experienced provided a background for her symptoms of depression.
Narrative therapy: Creating a coherent story about the family’s immigrant journey helped Maria contextualize her own feelings of instability and loss. This narrative work included story-telling, reflection on family photographs and discussion of the victims and their ancestors.
Expressing unspoken anger: Maria worked on ways of expressing her father’s unspoken anger. This could include writing letters to her father, even if she never sent them, and talking about what her father’s language might have felt like, but she never expressed it.
Connection with ancestral traits: The therapy was also aimed at recognizing and connecting with the strengths and resistance of her ancestors. Recognizing the courage and determination that her family needed for her to emigrate helped Maria to feel pride and connectedness, counteracting feelings of depression.
Creating new traditions: How to honor her ancestors while building her own sense of identity, Maria and her therapist worked on creating new family traditions that included elements of her cultural background. This helped her feel more grounded and connected to her roots.
In “It Didn’t Start with You”, Mark Wolynn provides a solid framework for understanding and resolving the phenomenon of so-called transgenerational trauma. Each case study demonstrates the importance of researching family history, creating a narrative and engaging in specific therapeutic practices to heal the resulting wounds. Recognizing and resolving the trauma of our ancestors, individuals such as Sarah, John and Mary can break the circle of inherited pain and open the way to health, a more resilient future.
*Key words: it didn’t start with you, transgenerational trauma, somatic experiencing therapy, psychotherapist zagreb, gestalt therapy
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