The Healing Power of Saying ‘This Hurt Me’ Healing Power. The words often feel impossible to form—that simple, direct acknowledgment: “This hurt me.” Instead, we find ourselves taking endless detours around this fundamental truth. Perhaps we minimize the impact (“It’s not really a big deal”), intellectualize the experience (“I understand why they did it”), or…
Conflict avoidance – Why You Avoid Conflict (Even When You’re Right) Conflict avoidance. Do you find yourself agreeing with others even when you actually hold a different view? Perhaps you experience intense anxiety at the mere hint of disagreement, quickly backtracking or apologizing to restore harmony. Maybe you carefully monitor your opinions to avoid…
Trauma – How Trauma Shows Up in Everyday Decisions Trauma. Do you find yourself making choices that seem logical in the moment but create patterns that don’t align with your deeper values or desires? Perhaps you consistently avoid certain situations that objectively present minimal risk, automatically say yes to requests despite feeling overwhelmed, or…
The Emotional Cost of Being Hyper-Independent Emotional Cost. Do you pride yourself on rarely needing help, handling challenges alone, or maintaining complete self-sufficiency regardless of circumstances? Perhaps you find it nearly impossible to ask for support even when struggling, feel uncomfortable when others offer assistance, or experience an almost visceral aversion to appearing vulnerable…
Why You Struggle to Ask for Help (Even When You Need It) Why You Struggle. The sensations are familiar: tightness in your throat, a flutter in your stomach, perhaps a slight increase in your heart rate. Your body knows before your mind fully registers it—you need help, yet something blocks you from reaching out.…
You Were Not Loved Less, You Were Loved Conditionally Conditional love. The realization often arrives during an ordinary moment—perhaps while watching siblings receive different treatment, remembering how praise always followed achievement but rarely just your presence, or noticing the subtle but unmistakable ways your authentic expression was discouraged while other qualities received celebration. Something clicks…
What Happens When You Stop Over-Explaining Yourself Over-explaining. The pattern is subtle but persistent—a simple “no” somehow transforms into a three-minute justification. A boundary comes wrapped in excessive reasoning. A preference arrives cushioned with elaborate context. Even minor decisions receive comprehensive explanations that nobody actually requested. This habit of over-explaining reflects more than just conversational…
The Quiet Grief of Never Feeling Truly Seen Never Feeling Truly Seen. It happens in subtle moments. Someone interrupts you mid-sentence. A partner compliments a quality you don’t particularly value while overlooking what you’re most proud of. A family member continues buying gifts that reflect who you were a decade ago, not who you’ve become.…
Healing Means Learning to Sit with Discomfort Emotional avoidance. Do you find yourself automatically moving away from uncomfortable emotions? Perhaps you distract yourself when difficult feelings arise, quickly problem-solve to avoid sitting with uncertainty, or use food, screens, work, or other activities to escape emotional discomfort. Maybe you’ve noticed that despite your best efforts…
When Your Nervous System Doesn’t Trust Calm Nervous System. Do you find yourself feeling inexplicably anxious during peaceful moments that should be relaxing? Perhaps you notice tension arising precisely when external circumstances finally settle, or experience a mysterious sense of foreboding when everything appears to be going well. Maybe you’ve observed a pattern where…