Self-compassion
Self-compassion is a key aspect of healing from trauma, according to Gabor Mate, a renowned psychotherapist, author, and expert on trauma and addiction. Trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and other mental and physical health issues. When we experience trauma, our nervous system speeds up, and our brains perceive even non-threatening situations as dangerous, leading to chronic stress and emotional distress.
Trauma can often result in self-blame, shame, and guilt, which can further exacerbate emotional pain and suffering. Self-compassion, on the other hand, involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy, rather than judgment and criticism. This includes acknowledging that suffering is a universal human experience and that it is okay to feel pain and sadness. By practicing self-compassion, we can release self-blame and self-criticism, which can be incredibly healing and transformative.
Self-compassion can help regulate our nervous system and reduce chronic stress, which is a common symptom of trauma. Traumatic experiences can alter our stress response system, leading to hypersensitivity and chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system, which can be debilitating. Self-compassion can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest and relaxation, leading to feelings of calm and well-being. By practicing self-compassion, we can learn to regulate our emotions and respond to stress in a more adaptive and healthy way.
Self-compassion can help build resilience and strengthen our sense of self. Trauma often leaves us feeling helpless, vulnerable, and powerless, which can have a significant impact on our self-esteem and self-worth. Self-compassion can help us recognize our inherent strengths and abilities and cultivate a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. By learning to treat ourselves with compassion and kindness, we can develop greater self-awareness, confidence, and resilience, which can be crucial in the healing process.
Self-compassion is an essential aspect of trauma healing. By treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and empathy, we can release self-blame and self-criticism, regulate our nervous system, and build resilience. Self-compassion can help us heal the emotional wounds of trauma and move toward a more meaningful and fulfilling life. As Mate says, “Compassion is not a relationship between healer and wounded. It is a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
In addition to the benefits listed above, self-compassion can also help us develop a greater sense of empathy and connection with others. When we practice self-compassion, we become more in tune with our own emotional experiences, which can help us understand and connect with the struggles of others. As Mate explains, “Compassion for ourselves and others is key to overcoming emotional pain and trauma.” By cultivating self-compassion, we can develop a deeper sense of empathy and compassion for others, which can have a positive impact on our relationships and our ability to change the world.
Self-compassion can also help us break free from destructive patterns of behavior that can result from trauma. For example, many people who have experienced trauma may turn to substance abuse, self-harm, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms as a way to numb their emotional pain. Self-compassion can help us recognize these patterns and begin to release them, by cultivating healthier coping strategies and learning to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion rather than judgment and criticism.
It’s important to note that practicing self-compassion is not always easy, especially for those who have experienced significant trauma. It may take a lot of patience, self-reflection, and support from others. However, if we commit to self-compassion and incorporate it into our daily lives, we can begin to experience the transformative power of this practice. As Mate says, “Self-compassion is the foundation of true healing. It is only when we can truly accept ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally that we can begin to heal the wounds of trauma and move forward with greater resilience, compassion, and purpose.”
*Keywords: Self-compassion, self-love, self-mothering, psychotherapy, psychotherapist Zagreb
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