Karpman’s Triangle – Rescuer, Victim, Persecutor

The Karpman Triangle, also known as the Drama Triangle, is a model created by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman to explain how people can get caught up in negative interpersonal dynamics. The triangle consists of three roles: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. Each role represents a different position that people can take in a conflict or problematic situation.

A victim is a person who feels helpless and powerless in a situation. They often believe that they have no control over what is happening to them and may feel trapped or overwhelmed. The victim tends to seek sympathy and support from others and may blame others for their problems.

A persecutor is a person who appears to be causing the problems. They may be aggressive, critical, or controlling. The persecutor often blames the victim for the situation and may try to dominate or intimidate them.

A Rescuer is a person who tries to solve the Victim’s problems. They may offer unsolicited advice, take on too much responsibility, or try to fix the situation without the Victim’s input. The Rescuer often feels good about helping others, but their actions can actually reinforce the Victim’s addiction and perpetuate the cycle.

According to Karpman, the three roles in Karpman’s Triangle are interconnected and people can shift from one to another depending on the situation. For example, a person who starts out as a Victim may become a Persecutor if they begin to blame others for their problems. Similarly, a Rescuer may become a Victim if they feel unappreciated or overwhelmed by the demands of others.

Karpman believed that Karpman’s Triangle can be a destructive pattern of behavior that can lead to stress, anxiety, and negative relationships. He suggested that the key to breaking the cycle is to recognize which role you are playing and take responsibility for your own actions. By doing so, you can avoid getting caught up in the drama and create healthier, more productive relationships.

In conclusion, the Karpman Triangle is a useful model for understanding how negative interpersonal dynamics can develop. By recognizing the different roles and taking responsibility for our own actions, we can break free from the cycle and create healthier relationships with others.

A few examples of the Karpman Triangle in action:

• A teenager is having trouble in school and is falling behind in class. They feel like victims and blame their teachers for being too hard on them. Their parent takes on the role of the Savior and starts doing the teenager’s homework for them. However, when the grades don’t improve, the parent becomes frustrated and takes on the role of the Persecutor, criticizing the teenager for not trying harder.

• A couple is arguing about finances. One partner feels like the victim, blaming the other for overspending and causing their own financial problems. The other partner takes on the role of the Persecutor, becoming defensive and insisting that they are not solely responsible for the situation. The friend tries to help by offering to lend them money, taking on the role of the Rescuer. However, this only reinforces the victim’s dependence on others and perpetuates the cycle.

• A group of coworkers are working together on a project. One member of the group struggles to keep up and feels like a victim, believing that the other members are not helping enough. Another member of the group takes on the role of the Persecutor, becoming critical and blaming the struggling colleague for holding the group back. A third coworker tries to help by taking on additional tasks and responsibilities, taking on the role of the Rescuer. However, this only reinforces the Victim’s dependency and perpetuates the cycle of dysfunction.

• A couple is arguing about a recent disagreement. One partner takes on the role of the Victim, claiming that they are always wrong and never get their way. The other partner takes on the role of the Persecutor, becoming angry and critical of their partner’s behavior. The friend tries to help by taking on the role of the Rescuer, offering advice and support to the Victim’s partner. However, this only reinforces the Victim’s dependency on others and perpetuates the cycle of dysfunction in the relationship.

These are just a few examples of how the Karpman Triangle can manifest itself in real-life situations. By recognizing different roles and taking responsibility for our own actions, we can break free from these negative patterns and create healthier, more productive relationships with others.

In toxic relationships, the Karpman Triangle can manifest itself in a variety of ways, with each partner changing roles depending on the situation. By recognizing these patterns and taking responsibility for our own actions, we can break free from these negative cycles and create healthier relationships.

Samantha and Tom have been in a relationship for several years. Samantha is a successful businesswoman who values ​​her independence, while Tom is an artist and tends to be more emotional and sensitive. Lately, they have been arguing a lot, and Samantha has felt like Tom is too needy and dependent on her. Samantha takes on the role of the Persecutor, criticizing Tom for not being more assertive and not contributing enough financially to the relationship. Tom takes on the role of the Victim, feeling like he can’t do anything right and that Samantha doesn’t value him. Samantha’s close friend, Melissa, takes on the role of rescuer, giving Samantha advice on how to communicate better with Tom and trying to convince Tom to change his behavior.

Karpman’s triangle

Using the theory of transactional analysis, we can analyze this situation further. Samantha is acting from her Parent ego state, feeling as if she knows what is best for Tom, and criticizing him for not meeting her expectations. Tom is acting from his Child ego state, feeling as if he cannot meet Samantha’s needs and seeking her approval. Melissa is acting from her Rescuer ego state, trying to fix the situation for Samantha and Tom instead of empowering them to work together to solve their problems.

Samantha’s goal is to feel like she is in control of the relationship and that Tom is meeting her needs. Tom’s goal is to feel loved and appreciated by Samantha while maintaining his sense of independence. Toxic elements in their relationship include criticism, blaming, and a lack of empathy. A psychologically toxic goal for Samantha is to feel superior to Tom and maintain her sense of control, while a psychologically toxic goal for Tom is to seek validation from Samantha and avoid conflict.

To break free from the Karpman Triangle, Samantha needs to move from her parent ego state to her adult ego state, recognizing that Tom has his own needs and that their relationship is a partnership. Tom needs to move from his child ego state to his adult ego state, standing up for himself and communicating his needs more clearly. Melissa needs to move from her role as Rescuer to her role as Adult, encouraging Samantha and Tom to communicate more effectively and offering them objective guidance to help them resolve the conflict.

How to Escape the Triangle If You’re a Victim

Stop complaining about your life. Completely. Spend this time instead looking for ways to improve the things you’re not happy with.
Accept once and for all: no one owes you anything. Even if you promised, even if you yourself wanted and offered something. Circumstances are constantly changing, as are human desires. Stop waiting for salvation. Everything you do is your choice and responsibility. You are free to make another choice if something is not good for you. Do not make excuses and do not reproach yourself if you feel that you do not meet someone’s expectations.

How to escape the triangle if you are a persecutor

Stop blaming other people and circumstances. Become assertive instead of aggressive. You need to become more empathetic towards others and reject your authoritative patterns.

How to Escape the Triangle if You’re a Rescuer

If no one asks you for help or advice, keep quiet. Stop thinking that you have to save the day and that without your help the world will collapse. Don’t make hasty promises. Just say no. Stop waiting for gratitude and praise. You help only because you want to help, not because you want some reward, right? Before you start “doing good” for someone, ask yourself honestly if your involvement is really necessary. This could save you from trouble. Stop asserting yourself just a little more by using those who like to complain about their lives.

How Karpman’s Triangle can be transformed

If you want to escape the triangle and follow your goal step by step, it won’t be long before the first changes appear. You will have more time and energy, you will breathe easier and live more interestingly. The tension in your relationship will most likely decrease. And this is called the winning triangle:

The Victim becomes vulnerable. Now instead of complaining about his or her fate, the person will accept responsibility and learn how to solve his or her own problems and defend himself or herself. He or she will be more open to his or her mistakes and will hold on instead of giving up or waiting for a hero.

The Persecutor becomes assertive. They no longer criticize, but give constructive feedback. Their aggressive reactions become empathetic interactions and he or she is ready to connect with others and better communicate their thoughts and feelings.

The Rescuer becomes caring. He or she learns to let go of control and listen instead of trying to fix. They begin to delegate more and refuse to participate in activities that drain them. This is the best position to start a new triangle, because they can redirect the victim and encourage them to take on their responsibilities.

*Key words: Karpman’s triangle, dramatic triangle, savior, victim, persecutor, psychotherapy, psychotherapist Zagreb